The Perfect Visit to the Doctor

(At the clinic two days ago)

Dr. Lee: Hello! Come, sit down. So what's wrong with you today?

Me: (meekly) Very, very bad throat.

D: When did it start?

M: (peace sign)

D: Two days ago...wah really cannot talk arh?

M: (nods pitifully)

D: (scribbles) Any fever?

M: (wolverine sign)

D: Three days ago...now stopped?

M: (nods)

D: Okay. (scribbles) Open your mouth. (prepares flashlight)

M: (gapes in pain)

D: ...AIYOH!!! How can you get something like this!?!?

M: ...

D: Aiyoh aiyoh aiyoh...so many ulcers pok pok pok all around your tonsils and your throat...must be so painful!!!

M: (thinks: And this your idea of sympathy...?)

D: Aiyoh come, come to the mirror let me show you...

M: (meekly) Uh no it's okay, scaring myself once is enough for me already.

D: Aiyoh...I want to take picture of this leh...

M: (blank face)

D: Okay never mind. Don't worry don't worry. I'll give you strong antibiotics to bomb all the ulcers. Bomb bomb bomb all of them! But aiyoh...how can you get this kind of thing...your friend spread to you right?

M: (shrugs)

D: Wah, hope you don't spread to me. Come, let me take your temperature.

M: (rod goes under tongue)

D: 37.0. When was the last time you took panadol?

M: (wolverine sign)

D: Three hours ago. No wonder only slightly feverish. Okay, this is very, very bad tonsilitis. You must know, with this kind of inflammation, you can only expect that your fever will keep rising and falling.

M: (shakes head and sighs)

D: Don't worry arh. The antibiotics will bomb all of them. If after a few days it's still like that arh, you come back here. I'll give you that one.

M: ...which one?

D: (points to ass)

M: (thinks: Ass shot) Okay...

D: You want MC or not? I give you 7 days MC.

M: (smiles and shakes hands and heads)

D: Sure? But you must have plenty of rest you know. Okay?

M: (nods)

D: Okay arh, that should be it. (scribbles vigorously) I'm so sorry you kenna such a thing arh. Don't worry, it'll all be over soon. See you next time!

M: (thinks: No thanks. Bye.)

(At the receptionist)

Receptionist: This is for fever and pain, take four times daily after food, these are the antibiotics, take three times........yep, that's it.

M: (holds up the bottle of mouth gargle and performs awkward chemical mixing gesture)

R: ...oh dilution! Yes, sorry. One is to one dilution. Then you can just gargle. Once in the morning and once at night.

M: (nods)

R: Okay so that'll be 45 dollars.

M: What!!

R: Er...oh because she gave you a strong antibiotic that's why it's so expe-

M: (meekly) No no that's not the point...never mind. (hands her $50 bill)

R: Here's your change. Thank you and take care!

M: (waves goodbye and thinks: 45 bucks. What a joke.)